hidden treasure helsinki

Dating is fun, isn't it?

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During never ending dark winters it's pretty difficult to meet new people. Art gallery openings are good places for that. Or at work place. Or if you start a new hobby. Yes. But if you don't do any of these there's one place and it's a bar. Or a club. But it will include alcohol - often. And meeting new people when you're drunk.. Hmm.. I'm not so sure about that. Can that friendship last? Yes, sure, but then again... Is there a better way?

 

Tinder, Gayromeo, Cruiser has bring Finns to next level on dating. Before dating pages were slightly uncool and especially when our ex-PM found his ex from there, it came extremely uncool. But everything changned with these applications. Now it's almost trendy to use them and people are dating more and more. These applications helped especially otherwise shy Finns!

 

They might be dating applications, but as well as you can find new friends from there. Dating doesn't have to lead to marriage, right? It's actually better if it leads to friendship. One sad point is that especially men after they brake up they join Tinder to search for sex, so it's not so simple. But you can also make it clear in the first place that you're searching for friends. Or someone to hang out. Just like what I did when I joined now first time to Tinder. I met a extremely nice peron and as I just got my heart broken from another guy, I told this new peson that I'm not looking for love at the moment. He told me that no problem, he has also met new freinds by using Tinder. And that made me feel comfortable. 

 

It's pretty interesting consept to search for new people through an application, especially when you're judging them by how they look and yes I chose him because he was handsome, so it's a bit silly to say I'm searching for friends. I'm looking for handsome friends. This is "a bit" of narrow mindedness of me.

 

Some of my friends have been wyning because people they talk at Tinder won't meet them. So for some people it's only place to chat with strangers. So don't get surprised.

 

 

Years ago I wrote how to date a Finnish woman/man and I think it's worth of publishing in this post as well:

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"Dating a female:

 

Asking out

 

Don't ever ask a Finnish female out too fast: if you have known her for fifteen minutes, don't even think she'll go out with you. Or sure, you can try, but often Finnish female refuse. Sure some might answer "Yes", but it's rare and you have to be like... super good looking to manage this way. And it's not enough if you think you are good looking. If you have known the Finnish female for one day or more, and it seems that she really likes to be with you, she might be a bit attracted on you. So this is when you can very kindly ask her out. If you are asking her out quite aggressive, she will refuse. And it's actually better if you know straight away a place where to go with her, especially if the place has something to do with her interests. On a date in a way you have to stay very distant but at the same time show the girl that you are really on a date. A couple of times I've been confused because I've been out with a guy and I though we were out as just friends and then after the guy has got angry to me for not understanding why we were out. So how can you make her feel like you are on a date, but that you are not aggressively showing it? You give her attention. And when you talk to her, you look at her eyes, but not like staring, just like that you can face her eyes. Also it's nice to listen to her and ask questions. Be interested. When Finnish girls are relaxed they can be hilarious and usually they are quite giggly, so after you just manage her feel comfortable with you, you can have good time!

 

After a date you say "good bye" "good bye". You can also ask what she is doing this weekend. If she says "I'm busy" and especially if she says "I'm busy with my friends", this means she's not maybe interested on you. In this case you should throw the ball to her and tell her to call you when she has time, and that you have time to catch up. If she is smiling and staring at you, this is when you did it. Congratulations! Now, the ball is at your hands, hold it tight (if you are interested on this girl). Now you can say almost anything "wanna meet this weekend?", "let's go for beers tomorrow" (or be more romantic and ask her to drink a bottle of Magyar* wine at a park). You can also ask her to your place to do something stupid, like play ping pong. If you really have ping pong. Man, I m jealous if you really do have it!!

 

Summarized

 

So, I mean that Finnish girls are easy to hang out with, if they are not unsure. So first thing is to make them feel comfortable with you.

 

Dating a Finnish man

 

This is tricky one, really. You should never be the first interested (if you are female, in gay culture it's sure different). Finnish hetero men are usually so traumatized from their past relationships that you will just need some patience. Never expect anything from a Finnish man. Never. They do what they do and they love doing what they do. If you try to push them a bit - they'll get anxious and loose interest on you. It's not a legend that Finnish men like one night stands because they still love their freedom. And a woman is standing on their freedom feelings way. But when these men get older, like what I was writing it was about men in their 20's to 30's, but when these men are over 35 you'll be fine. That's the age Finnish men became usually Men. Before this you can expect boyish acts and your heart broken. And believe me, been there done that. Many times.

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One good way to make a Finnish man interested on you is to ignore him. Even if you are interested on him - just ignore. He will come to you. Finnish men are like cats. And the most important thing is: don't show your emotions too early. I know this is really difficult because sure if you enjoy your time with someone you want to show that, but don't do it. No. Leave it. Keep it inside you. That's how we Finns roll. We keep everything inside and that's why we lead the deppression rates but you can't change this alone. You will be left alone if you show too much of emotions. "

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(*=Magyar wine is one of the cheapest wines at Alko licquor store. It's very bad tasting but makes people usually instantly laugh)

 

 

Hope this helped you a bit to closer to Finns soul!